Wonder
by Rachel Williams
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Do you wonder what I look like If I'm thin or tall or fat If my hair falls past my shoulders Or I hide it 'neath a hat Do you wonder if I smile If I'm happy or if I'm sad If I think about the things you did If I admit I have a dad Do you wonder if I have a boyfriend If I love him very much If we kiss and hug and hold hands If I'm scared to let him touch Do you wonder if I wonder About what your life's like there If I wonder if you love me And if you really care Do you wonder if I remember The way you made me hurt The things you did to mom and me That made us feel like dirt Do you wonder if I have nightmares About you coming to my room If I can still hear my mom crying While you led her to her doom Do you wonder if I dream at night Or if I'm afraid to fall asleep If my dreams are full of terrors Gifts from you I'll always keep Do you wonder what I remember About my life when you were here Its not sugarplums or candy canes What I remember most is fear Do you wonder if I remember All the pain and fear and fright The terror and the searing pain Of that endless lonely night Do you wonder if I remember How you destroyed my love and trust With a stinging belt and broken bones And each painful tearing thrust Do you wonder if I still tremble From the memories burned deep inside If I'm afraid of the world around me And would rather run and hide Do you wonder if I will ever love A boy or man so true Or if I fear that all of them Will treat me just like you Do you wonder how much you hurt me If I've recovered from being abused Or do you enjoy remembering it all Does it keep yourself amused Do you wonder if I forgive you For the things you did to me Well don't waste your time debating For that will never be Do you wonder why I write these words Guess what, I wonder too Despite all you did there's still a spark Of a daughter's love for you |
© Rachel Williams 1998
Rachel is a 14 year-old survivor of abuse.
Her Mom died of AIDS in 1996, and Rachel is
continuing in her Mom's child advocacy footsteps.
Also read "American Girls" by Rachel.
Visit "Rachel's Other Page" [offsite].
You'll never be the same after reading her website.
The information posted on this website does not necessarily represent the perspectives of the site author.
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© N. Faulkner 1996-2003 Information on this website does not necessarily represent perspectives of the site author. If you experience technical problems, please send a message to the . Top of Page | |||||||||||||||
